 Mens rules
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Sep. 13th, 2007 @ 05:52 pm 
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My dearest husband sent me this
These are our rules:
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1.Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
1.Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1.Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be
1.Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1.Crying is blackmail.
1.Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT!
1.‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question
1.Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for
1.A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor
1.Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days
1.If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us
1.If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1.You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done
Not both
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself
1.Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials
1.Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we
1.ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1.If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1.If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle
1.If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear
1.When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really
1.Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:
Sex,
Sports, or
Cars
1.You have enough clothes
1.You have too many shoes
1.I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1.Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
he is soooo sleeping on the couch tonight! |
Very funny! I sent to mine! I wonder if he will even read it!
Of course he will. He most probably is bragging about it right now!
![[User Picture Icon]](http://p-userpic.livejournal.com/64578753/6635679) |
| From: | ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) creamuts |
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September 13th, 2007 05:24 pm (UTC) |
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::Giggles:: Now I'm very happy that I live alone ;)!
Well he could try!!
♥▼♥
Gosh, sometimes I envy you sooooo much.
Hugs Peek
![[User Picture Icon]](http://p-userpic.livejournal.com/63144829/12977754) |
| From: | ispellit |
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September 13th, 2007 05:36 pm (UTC) |
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LMAO - but after my experience I fear we have to face that this is the pure and naked truth. LOL
There is something in German about this fact: "Männer und Frauen passen nicht zusammen, außer in der Mitte." - something like: "Men and women don't fit, except in the center."
That´s a good one, never heard it. 
![[User Picture Icon]](http://p-userpic.livejournal.com/75030696/7469911) |
| From: | veradee |
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September 13th, 2007 06:04 pm (UTC) |
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This is brilliant. Very funny. (And once or twice the men might even be correct).
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| From: | veradee |
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September 13th, 2007 08:25 pm (UTC) |
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I definitely agree on these two:
1.You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done
Not both
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself
1.If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear
![[User Picture Icon]](http://p-userpic.livejournal.com/62568765/9315582) |
| From: | adaveen |
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September 13th, 2007 10:56 pm (UTC) |
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No, I'm with Veradee on this one.
Well, not evry men are that caricature BUT
it IS true that they NEVER complain about the toilet seat being down...
:)
Yes *sigh*, I hate to admit it but you´re right.
*ROFL*
I think I like your hubby. :)
Bwaaaahaaaaa, just don´t jump to conclusions my dearest Lex.
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| From: | adaveen |
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September 13th, 2007 10:58 pm (UTC) |
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Men are so refreshingly uncomplicated, aren't they?
*** warm fuzzy ***
Yes they are! A pleasure to work with.
*rofl*
funny funny funny - yet true *damn*
I especially loved "Round is a shape." and "did you know men really don't mind that, IT'S LIKE CAMPING." *lol*
Men are retarded. (As if I didn't know that already) ;)
Yeah, unfortunately it´s more true than we like to admit. Oh and it´s also very funny. Gosh it´s a lethal combination, isn´t it?
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